Some people think that couples should be 100% honest with each other, but some people think that couples should keep some privacy. So which of these two opinions is correct?
1. Frankness is not necessarily evidence of love
Is honesty really an expression of loving someone? No. must.
Sometimes, honesty between lovers will make the relationship between the two people more harmonious and increase mutual trust.
But being honest with someone does not mean loving someone. Sometimes, being honest with someone is because you don't care about the other person. Your honesty is just that you don't care what the other person thinks of you. This is your character.
In an intimate relationship, one party’s honesty may be seen as a kind of indifference and indifference to the other party.
2. There is no conflict between maintaining boundaries and loving each other
Dalev said: The root of all human suffering , all stem from the lack of a sense of boundaries.
No matter how close a couple is, they are two independent individuals, and a certain sense of boundaries must be maintained between the two people.
If a partner peeks at the other person’s phone without the other person’s permission, this is an invasion of other people’s privacy and a lack of trust in the other person.
The vast majority of people do not accept the other party looking at their mobile phones, but they peek at their mobile phones without their permission. This kind of lack of boundaries and respect for their partners is what angers the other person. The real reason.
The sense of boundaries is the foundation of trust. Maintaining a certain sense of boundaries between lovers will increase more trust. As Nina O'Neill said: "Trust is the most important quality shared by two people in a marriage and is indispensable for building a happy relationship."
The sense of boundaries is like A buffer between two people, it retains the mystery between them and adds depth to the intimacy.
Maintaining privacy and boundaries between partners is not only a form of respect, but also a form of trust. There is no conflict between maintaining boundaries and loving each other.
3. Behind the control is lack of self-confidence
We try our best to look at each other’s mobile phones and check each other’s phones The essence of privacy is distrust of oneself and suspicion of feelings. You want to relieve your own inner uneasiness and anxiety by controlling others.
However, controlling others is like the ancient "literary prison". Many emperors and rulers were afraid that their status would be shaken and would control the minds of their people at all costs.
But the result was that it ended in failure.
BecauseIt is difficult to control other people's thoughts, and the instinctive reaction of the person being controlled is to resist.
So don’t be harsh on yourself, let alone others.
"If the water is clear, there will be no fish, and if the people are careful, there will be no disciples." No one can guarantee that he has done nothing wrong.
Human nature is very complicated. This world is not black and white. Most things have a light shade of gray. Give each other a chance to grow, and your intimate relationship may be gone. farther.
